This is a tough one to write. It's the one no one wants to write, but needs to. It's the one that we have all needed to read at some point, I'm sure. It's the one about forgiveness...
I'm not referring to the forgiveness we seek from God for our internal sin nature, it's the forgiveness that we, as Christians, are supposed to bestow upon those who have wronged us. Yes, that's the one.
First, let's remind ourselves what the word actually means. Forgiveness: a conscious and deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person who has harmed you, regardless of whether or not they are deserving.
The words in that definition spin circles in my head when I read them. Resentment, vengeance, harm. I have been a bystander and witness to people I know personally who have harbored feelings such as these for years. They are bitter, angry, resentful and hard hearted. Not being able to "forgive and forget" has truly created so much instability and turmoil in their lives that they no longer have the joy they once had. Not being able to forgive has created a life for these people that is one of malice and ill will. They cannot be happy about anything, simply because they cannot allow their heart to forgive and receive the peace that comes from the act of forgiving.
Unfortunately, as I've read about forgiveness and read what God has commanded of us regarding the issue, I realize I too have had some instances of not wanting to "let go". I have held on to some situations and events and not allowed myself to forgive as I should. It's easy to hold onto them and stew over them. It's hard. It shouldn't be, but sometimes it is. There are times that I wonder why I should forgive them. They didn't apologize, if they do, they end up continuing to do what they did after the 500 other apologies, some don't even realize their wrongs. Excuses? No. There are no excuses on my part. In not forgiving, I am also guilty and need forgiveness. Hard one to swallow.
On the flip side, I've also experienced the peace and the blessings that can come from forgiving others. The only analogy that came to mind was a caged bird. A bird who is held captive by the metal columns of imprisonment, and not allowed the joy of soaring to new heights, is so similar to what we do to our own selves when we do not choose to forgive. We imprison our hearts and minds and do not allow ourselves the chance to be free of negativity. We are in bondage to the trespasses that came against us and cannot be filled with the joy of Christian love and fellowship.
When we make the decision to forgive someone, whether they are deserving or not, we are not only releasing ourselves from the pain of resentment and bitterness, but also setting a Godly example for the other person. When we say "I forgive you", we are also saying, "Christ is in me. I can erase wrongs with Christ's amazing love. He has forgiven me so I am choosing to also forgive you." Our testimony will become evident to that person and we are offering compassion in a world of hardened hearts.
I believe and have seen that God will provide blessings to those with a heart of forgiveness. For me, that blessing has been peace. Because I chose to forgive, I have experienced peace that only God can give. I have also experienced a joy and a happiness that only he can provide. Like the caged bird, released from it's prison, I too am free from the shackles of resentment. Thank you Lord for helping my heart to forgive.
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. - Colossians 3:13
I encourage you to look up this song by Matthew West. Perfect song to end this post with.
"Forgiveness"
It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness