"Mom, why are your eyes like water?"
I intently sat across the table tonight at Speedy Chef in a trance like state and watched Camdyn as she tried her hardest to scoop every last morsel of her chocolate ice cream from her cup. The infamous chocolate mustache and a seriously cute grin, was all it took for me.
This week, she's been talking about moving to the "big" class at school when she turns four in December. She's played her first team sport...did I mention how adorable she is in uniform?
She sleeps in her bedroom and doesn't require me to rock her for hours on end anymore. She is no longer requiring pull ups or diapers. She feeds herself, dresses herself most days, and can even open the refridgerator herself now (people seriously should invent locks for these things!). It seems like just in the past few months, my baby has become a little girl. A smart, beautiful, funny, energetic, little girl. Whoever wrote that sappy country music song "You're Gonna Miss This", was dead on.
So when she asked, "Mom, why are your eyes watering?" I told her I was sad because she wasn't my baby anymore. She said I'm a big girl Mom but I'm a baby for you. I asked her if she would always be my baby, to which she giggled and replied yes.
On the way home, I thought about the road it took to even get her here. It was a difficult one. My pregnancy was a shock to begin with, and then her birth wasn't the easiest. That little tiny 3 lb baby scared me more than anything ever has. The first 3 months of her life, I held her. I slept in the recliner every night with her in my arm. I was protective, maybe even a little crazy. I knew God had given me something so special to take care of and he had handed me this gift to love and guide. I began to think of the examples I have set for her and the things I am teaching her. Have I done enough in these 3 and a half years? Am I truly cherishing each and every moment? The moments are fleeting and gone too quickly. I only have her for a short period of time. Am I making the most of it?
I felt challenged in my heart tonight. Challenged to make the most of every moment. Challenged to savor the seconds I get to hold her little hands or kiss her rosy cheeks. Take advantage also of the times in which I can talk to her about God and what he does for me and what he can be for her in her own life.
It's funny how God uses moments to speak to us. Mine was over watery eyes and ice cream. I felt the tugging on my heart strings and the seemingly quiet whisper in my heart..."be more...do more...let your light shine for Camdyn...lead and guide her."
My prayer tonight is that God can help mold me into the parent Camdyn needs, that he can help me guide and direct her in his will and his ways. My hope is that she will love the Lord with all of heart and soul and seek opportunities to worship and praise him. After all, we have only a short time with our babies. Once, we release them out into the world, they must know that the world can be difficult. It can be tragic. It can be misleading. So....Lord.....help me to step up to the plate and build her foundation before she puts up her framework in life!
Psalms 127:3
Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him.