I seek out moments where God reveals himself to me. The times when I am looking for him and I see him. The moments when hearing him isn't enough, and catching a glimpse of him is the medicine my heart needs. I snapped this photo at the doctors office this morning...more about that in a moment.
Last night William stayed home with Camdyn and I went to church. I needed it. I was seeking something from the Lord because it has been one more week. Yesterday in my prayers to the Lord, I explained I was at my wits end trying to get Camdyn healthy, trying to fight the battles thrown at me this week and trying to be all everyone needs me to be...we will get back to this but before I go further...
This week has been less desirable than most. Camdyn started the week with tummy troubles. I was out on Monday, able to work Tuesday and Wednesday, only to be out again today with her. Last night as I lay beside her in bed and listened to her cry from being congested, felt her forehead every hour, and wiped a runny nose, I was overwhelmed. This child has been sick all winter. Fevers, ER visits, dr visits, etc. I just need her well. I even felt ashamed as I lay in bed thinking because I know so many mommies are holding babies with cancer, babies with serious illnesses, or even grieving the loss of a child. I was reminded quickly that my trials are minuscule and for that I am blessed. Please don't mistake this post as me complaining about my sick child. That isn't going to be the reason for this blog post. It's meant to be a help for anyone who needs the Lord. Anyone who needs to see the Lord. Keep this in mind...
While my struggles may not be that to some, Nonetheless, I was still struggling...As any working mother knows, especially a teacher Mama, you are always torn when your child is sick and you have to miss work. The stress I feel from missing work is probably a little self inflicted. I have sick days, I know my child needs her Mama, but that one part of me worries about not being there. I worry about what people, administration, and parents will think. I worry that I've been out too much. I worry that I'm losing instructional time too close to end of year testing. I could go on and on. I've tried to remind myself of what a dear friend told me not long ago. "Years from now, Camdyn will remember who took care of her when she was sick. Years from now, no one will remember you weren't at work today." Now to just get my head to hear what my heart is saying.
Besides Camdyn being sick, it seems like all sorts of things have been tossed at me this week. I've struggled in many aspects. I've felt like hitting reset and trying to restart the whole week over again, but that just isn't an option. I just needed the Lord to intervene. I begged yesterday morning that he just reveal himself to me. I needed him this week because again, I was at wits end and just needed some peace.
Now, back to church. Who could have ever imagined that when I told the Lord I was at my wits end yesterday morning, that I would hear scripture last night from our preacher with those very words? Seriously, it's funny how God makes himself known sometimes.
Psalm 107 KJV
1 O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
3 And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south.
4 They wandered in the wilderness in a solitary way; they found no city to dwell in.
5 Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses.
7 And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation.
8 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
9 For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.
10 Such as sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, being bound in affliction and iron;
11 Because they rebelled against the words of God, and contemned the counsel of the most High:
12 Therefore he brought down their heart with labour; they fell down, and there was none to help.
13 Then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder.
15 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
16 For he hath broken the gates of brass, and cut the bars of iron in sunder.
17 Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted.
18 Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death.
19 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.
20 He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
21 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
22 And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing.
23 They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;
24 These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.
25 For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.
26 They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.
***27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end.
28 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.
29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
30 Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.
31 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
32 Let them exalt him also in the congregation of the people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders.
33 He turneth rivers into a wilderness, and the watersprings into dry ground;
34 A fruitful land into barrenness, for the wickedness of them that dwell therein.
35 He turneth the wilderness into a standing water, and dry ground into watersprings.
36 And there he maketh the hungry to dwell, that they may prepare a city for habitation;
37 And sow the fields, and plant vineyards, which may yield fruits of increase.
38 He blesseth them also, so that they are multiplied greatly; and suffereth not their cattle to decrease.
39 Again, they are minished and brought low through oppression, affliction, and sorrow.
40 He poureth contempt upon princes, and causeth them to wander in the wilderness, where there is no way.
41 Yet setteth he the poor on high from affliction, and maketh him families like a flock.
42 The righteous shall see it, and rejoice: and all iniquity shall stop her mouth.
43 Whoso is wise, and will observe these things, even they shall understand the lovingkindness of the Lord.
Pay close attention to those verses in bold and underlined. Wow. Just wow. How much more can I ask the Lord to reveal himself? All I have to do is cry out to him. I did that very thing yesterday morning and he reminded me last night that he heard me. He will deliver us from this sickness, the troubles, the downhearted times we've had this week.
If that wasn't enough to help my heart last night, he knew I'd be struggling today trying to balance motherhood and work and the decisions of staying home to take Camdyn to the doctor or working. When we got to the doctors office this morning and we got back into our room, the card you see at the beginning of this blog in the photo was laying next to the chair in the room. I couldn't help but smile. It was the first thing I saw when I sat down with Camdyn. Tears began to fall. Camdyn was confused. Mama? Why are you crying? Are we getting shots? :) I quickly explained I wasn't sad. I was happy because the Lord was giving my heart what it needed. He was blessing me right there in the doctors office and confirming the decisions I've had to make this week, the trials I've faced, and the struggles my little family has had. He was confirming that in the midst of the storms, he still has our ship in his hand. We will never sink because he is our guiding light. I know the sunshine is coming!! Better days are ahead!
Thank you Lord for your blessings on me!
Last night William stayed home with Camdyn and I went to church. I needed it. I was seeking something from the Lord because it has been one more week. Yesterday in my prayers to the Lord, I explained I was at my wits end trying to get Camdyn healthy, trying to fight the battles thrown at me this week and trying to be all everyone needs me to be...we will get back to this but before I go further...
This week has been less desirable than most. Camdyn started the week with tummy troubles. I was out on Monday, able to work Tuesday and Wednesday, only to be out again today with her. Last night as I lay beside her in bed and listened to her cry from being congested, felt her forehead every hour, and wiped a runny nose, I was overwhelmed. This child has been sick all winter. Fevers, ER visits, dr visits, etc. I just need her well. I even felt ashamed as I lay in bed thinking because I know so many mommies are holding babies with cancer, babies with serious illnesses, or even grieving the loss of a child. I was reminded quickly that my trials are minuscule and for that I am blessed. Please don't mistake this post as me complaining about my sick child. That isn't going to be the reason for this blog post. It's meant to be a help for anyone who needs the Lord. Anyone who needs to see the Lord. Keep this in mind...
While my struggles may not be that to some, Nonetheless, I was still struggling...As any working mother knows, especially a teacher Mama, you are always torn when your child is sick and you have to miss work. The stress I feel from missing work is probably a little self inflicted. I have sick days, I know my child needs her Mama, but that one part of me worries about not being there. I worry about what people, administration, and parents will think. I worry that I've been out too much. I worry that I'm losing instructional time too close to end of year testing. I could go on and on. I've tried to remind myself of what a dear friend told me not long ago. "Years from now, Camdyn will remember who took care of her when she was sick. Years from now, no one will remember you weren't at work today." Now to just get my head to hear what my heart is saying.
Besides Camdyn being sick, it seems like all sorts of things have been tossed at me this week. I've struggled in many aspects. I've felt like hitting reset and trying to restart the whole week over again, but that just isn't an option. I just needed the Lord to intervene. I begged yesterday morning that he just reveal himself to me. I needed him this week because again, I was at wits end and just needed some peace.
Now, back to church. Who could have ever imagined that when I told the Lord I was at my wits end yesterday morning, that I would hear scripture last night from our preacher with those very words? Seriously, it's funny how God makes himself known sometimes.
Psalm 107 KJV
1 O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
3 And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south.
4 They wandered in the wilderness in a solitary way; they found no city to dwell in.
5 Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses.
7 And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation.
8 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
9 For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.
10 Such as sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, being bound in affliction and iron;
11 Because they rebelled against the words of God, and contemned the counsel of the most High:
12 Therefore he brought down their heart with labour; they fell down, and there was none to help.
13 Then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder.
15 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
16 For he hath broken the gates of brass, and cut the bars of iron in sunder.
17 Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted.
18 Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death.
19 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.
20 He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
21 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
22 And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing.
23 They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;
24 These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.
25 For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.
26 They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.
***27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end.
28 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.
29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
30 Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.
31 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
32 Let them exalt him also in the congregation of the people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders.
33 He turneth rivers into a wilderness, and the watersprings into dry ground;
34 A fruitful land into barrenness, for the wickedness of them that dwell therein.
35 He turneth the wilderness into a standing water, and dry ground into watersprings.
36 And there he maketh the hungry to dwell, that they may prepare a city for habitation;
37 And sow the fields, and plant vineyards, which may yield fruits of increase.
38 He blesseth them also, so that they are multiplied greatly; and suffereth not their cattle to decrease.
39 Again, they are minished and brought low through oppression, affliction, and sorrow.
40 He poureth contempt upon princes, and causeth them to wander in the wilderness, where there is no way.
41 Yet setteth he the poor on high from affliction, and maketh him families like a flock.
42 The righteous shall see it, and rejoice: and all iniquity shall stop her mouth.
43 Whoso is wise, and will observe these things, even they shall understand the lovingkindness of the Lord.
Pay close attention to those verses in bold and underlined. Wow. Just wow. How much more can I ask the Lord to reveal himself? All I have to do is cry out to him. I did that very thing yesterday morning and he reminded me last night that he heard me. He will deliver us from this sickness, the troubles, the downhearted times we've had this week.
If that wasn't enough to help my heart last night, he knew I'd be struggling today trying to balance motherhood and work and the decisions of staying home to take Camdyn to the doctor or working. When we got to the doctors office this morning and we got back into our room, the card you see at the beginning of this blog in the photo was laying next to the chair in the room. I couldn't help but smile. It was the first thing I saw when I sat down with Camdyn. Tears began to fall. Camdyn was confused. Mama? Why are you crying? Are we getting shots? :) I quickly explained I wasn't sad. I was happy because the Lord was giving my heart what it needed. He was blessing me right there in the doctors office and confirming the decisions I've had to make this week, the trials I've faced, and the struggles my little family has had. He was confirming that in the midst of the storms, he still has our ship in his hand. We will never sink because he is our guiding light. I know the sunshine is coming!! Better days are ahead!
Thank you Lord for your blessings on me!