Juggling Act
Are you even a Mom if you haven’t tried to juggle play kitchen food? Asking for a friend. Legit true story.I sat in the floor tonight and tried to juggle a play banana, Apple, and orange. I tried for what seemed like five minutes or more before I was like, what the heck are you doing? I was wrapped up in playing with Nolan, he was laughing at my feeble attempt and so I kept doing it to make him giggle. It didn’t matter that I had no idea how to juggle, couldn’t juggle to save my life, and probably will never know how. He thought it was the best. In that one moment I felt like all was right in the world. Nolan was full of giggles and even Camdyn laughed (although she was totally laughing at me). And then suddenly, in my next thought, I was brought to tears.
My life lately feels like one big juggling act. You know the circus act where they are trying to balance a bazillion plates without them toppling in a heap? That’s the scene I find myself in lately. We’ve spent two months with sick kiddos, worrying over who will take off work this time, who will go to the appointments, worrying over what people think when we do miss work, canceling my own appointments (which I desperately need to get to),work is unrelenting (thankful for my amazing job, but it’s a lot some days), planning events and sending emails and contacting people each evening because I don’t have time during the day, meetings, due dates, exhaustion, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring...you name it I’m balancing it in that big stack of plates that I know all you moms have to. It’s the norm but lately it just feels that those plates are SO incredibly heavy. Is someone putting cast iron in my stack? I’ve felt SO defeated since January. In a “rut”. Dropping all the plates that I try to keep so perfectly balanced. And completely beating myself up when it happens.
But tonight, a simple thought entered my head after I dropped all those plastic fruits for the millionth time. It’s okay if I drop them all from time to time and feel like a fish out of water. My kids see the effort. They see I’m trying. They still laugh and think I’m the best Mommy ever (maybe also an emotional basket case) but the best nonetheless. They don’t hear or see the thoughts that race through my mind before I fall asleep or when I wake up each morning, they just see me. They don’t see that when I’m giggling with them or singing the Baby Shark for the 50th time that inside I’m wondering if that snotty nose merits another doctor trip or what we will wear for Wacky Tacky Wednesday. They see that somehow, some way, I still manage to pull it together and keep it all chugging along.
This post isn’t edited, doesn’t use fancy verbiage, but I just felt so compelled to get it down. Time hasn’t allowed much in the way of blogging this year, but my heart tells me someone needed to hear it too. Laugh at yourself Mama (and Daddy). Lay the plates down once in awhile and just be in the moment. They will fall. They may shatter, they may be in a crumpled heap, but they make new ones every day. It’s okay to drop them and struggle with the juggling act of day to day life, but keep on. They are always watching and looking at you.
My life lately feels like one big juggling act. You know the circus act where they are trying to balance a bazillion plates without them toppling in a heap? That’s the scene I find myself in lately. We’ve spent two months with sick kiddos, worrying over who will take off work this time, who will go to the appointments, worrying over what people think when we do miss work, canceling my own appointments (which I desperately need to get to),work is unrelenting (thankful for my amazing job, but it’s a lot some days), planning events and sending emails and contacting people each evening because I don’t have time during the day, meetings, due dates, exhaustion, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring...you name it I’m balancing it in that big stack of plates that I know all you moms have to. It’s the norm but lately it just feels that those plates are SO incredibly heavy. Is someone putting cast iron in my stack? I’ve felt SO defeated since January. In a “rut”. Dropping all the plates that I try to keep so perfectly balanced. And completely beating myself up when it happens.
But tonight, a simple thought entered my head after I dropped all those plastic fruits for the millionth time. It’s okay if I drop them all from time to time and feel like a fish out of water. My kids see the effort. They see I’m trying. They still laugh and think I’m the best Mommy ever (maybe also an emotional basket case) but the best nonetheless. They don’t hear or see the thoughts that race through my mind before I fall asleep or when I wake up each morning, they just see me. They don’t see that when I’m giggling with them or singing the Baby Shark for the 50th time that inside I’m wondering if that snotty nose merits another doctor trip or what we will wear for Wacky Tacky Wednesday. They see that somehow, some way, I still manage to pull it together and keep it all chugging along.
This post isn’t edited, doesn’t use fancy verbiage, but I just felt so compelled to get it down. Time hasn’t allowed much in the way of blogging this year, but my heart tells me someone needed to hear it too. Laugh at yourself Mama (and Daddy). Lay the plates down once in awhile and just be in the moment. They will fall. They may shatter, they may be in a crumpled heap, but they make new ones every day. It’s okay to drop them and struggle with the juggling act of day to day life, but keep on. They are always watching and looking at you.