Closing the Tabs
Tab 1: How do you get slime out of furniture?
Tab 2: How long does croup last? Is that cough concerning? How long do I let them be this way before finally going to the doctor?
Tab 3: It’s 60 degrees! Everyone needs new fall and winter clothes! Let me just look online. Wait what time is it now?
Tab 4: Did I remember to print that report Friday before I left for my conferences Monday? No, probably not. Let’s make sure I get to work early to do that Monday.
Tab 5: Wow, there is something written on every date in October that I need to do or my kid is signed up for. Face palm.
Tab 6: We are out of diapers. Oh I need a gift bag for that party. Oh great...we are on the last roll of toilet paper too. I just went to the store Friday.
Tab 6: Christmas is coming. I need to start buying up the 237 gifts we need to get. Oh and December birthdays. Fun times. Back to online shopping.
Tab 7: I love my kids. They are the most precious beings ever placed on this earth - very next thought...Please stop trying to put Cheerios in your nose. I’m going outside for a minute for a breather. Take care of yourselves tiny humans.
Tab 8: Soccer game tonight. Forgot to wash jersey. You’ll stink for a bit.
Tab 9. What’s for supper tonight? What’s for supper rest of week? Cue planning meals and Walmart grocery pick up order. App open - wait what did I need?
Tab 10: Time for bed, I’m exhausted. Why can’t I sleep? What’s that noise? Did I remember to lay out tomorrow’s clothes? How many conferences do I have tomorrow? I forgot to schedule the kids flu shots. What day does Christmas fall on this year? We should totally take the kids to Florida again, I should start looking at booking. Greys Anatomy comes on tomorrow. etc etc
Tab 11 thru 5,883,839 - you get the picture.
No. These are not internet browser tabs. These are tabs currently open in my brain this weekend.
If you have kids, you know the book, If You Give A Mouse a Cookie. It’s a classic. There should be a book for adults titled, If You Give A (insert Mom, Wife, Tescher etc) A Brain….because once that first tab opens, it’s one big cycle of tabs and tabs and tabs. Y’all know what I’m talking about.
There is nothing more refreshing than checking off items from my to do lists (those who work with me know I have extensive ones! Ha!) and closing those internet browsers once you’ve found what you’ve been looking for. So how do we as Mamas and Teachers close those brain tabs? How do we file stuff away to make room for new information? I’m not saying I know how and I’m preaching to myself here but Im trying and here’s what I’ve discovered lately.
#1 You are only as good as your body and mind feels. If you are stressed, tired, sick it WILL affect the rest of your life. Your husband, kids, work, etc. You can’t take care of everyone and everything else when you don’t take care of yourself. I seldom get opportunities for myself but when I do, I take them. Go to the grocery store alone, get your nails done, put work down for the evening, don’t check emails after 7 pm, sleep, ask for a babysitter (or if you struggle with this because you feel like you don’t see your kids as it is and always feel guilty asking, tell your husband you need a date night and ask HIM to get the sitter). Lately, I’ve incorporated exercise for my well being. I don’t have the time or money to hit the gym, so for me it looks like 20 minute workouts in the living room with my two year old trying to mimic the awkward yoga moves I’m doing. Side note: if you are feeling super “extra” try Club Fitz, but do it alone….ain’t no one that will wanna see you trying those moves ( think Beyonce or J-Lo in Hustler here). Get a massage, take some deep breaths, don’t skip those doctor appointments. Keep yourself WELL both mentally and physically. It won’t happen all the time but keep yourself at your best for those who need your best. I read an article yesterday that talked about putting your oxygen mask on first! If you don’t put yours on first, you can’t help others put on their masks. Don’t lose yourself in being a wife, mom, educator, etc. There is still a you inside. Find her and keep her well tuned!
#2 You are NOT the best employee because
#3 You are not a bad mother for needing a break. We aren’t talking a ten day excursion to the Virgin Islands. You do so much Mamas! You will be a better, calmer, more efficient multitasker and cuddler when you get a few minutes without the babies. There are other people that love those little ones just as much as you do, and they are willing to help! That break may be a twenty minute ride in your mini van alone playing whatever music you like (Notorious B.I.G. anyone?) It could mean a trip to Walmart alone to get that toilet paper you are out of of. Or it could be a girls night with a best friend or a date night with your husband. Husbands that read this, hear me: Your wife cleans, cooks, chauffeurs, nurses, rocks, and more each and every day. Tell her to be ready by 5, have the babysitter ready, and take her somewhere. We don’t care if it’s McDonald’s (hopefully it won’t be, but seriously, we don’t care) just as long as we aren’t wiping a nose, wiping ketchup off mouths, or eating one handed because a little one wants to sit in our lap while we eat and touch every part of our body repeatedly while saying Mama? Mom? Mommy? Just plan it! She plans everything, down to what shoes they wear with what outfits! Take one for the team Daddy!
#4 Seek out the experts. When I say experts I mean Moms, Nanas, Administrators, Dads, Grandpa’s, Senior Employees, etc. Find those people with genuine life experiences that you can listen to. They have seen life in a different way than you. Most people, you will find, are experts in some avenue of life. Some of the best advice you will ever get are from those you least expect. Listen to people’s experiences, don’t be afraid to ask for help!
#5 Talk about the hard stuff but don’t dwell on it. Those millions of tabs open in your brain need to be filed but before you can file them, talk about them, and then be done. If something is bothering you, say it! Talk to someone about it, find a solution, but then file it. Keeping those tabs open just creates more tabs (remember If You Give A Mouse a Cookie). There are some people who only talk about the hard stuff, and that’s hard to accept sometimes. Bring the positive to that persons hard stuff. Talk about the hard stuff with them but be that expert from #4 and help them see there’s a solution to everything! And above all else, talk about the hard stuff respectfully. There’s a right way and a wrong way, and you lose major street cred being that disrespectful and disgruntled person all the time. We can sort out issues and differences respectfully ALWAYS.
It’s not often I get to write these days, but it’s one of the most therapeutic things I do for myself. Please know when I write I don’t know all the things...Or even a quarter…. just know that I need these reminders just as much as the next person and I hope it helps some of you as well.
Tab 2: How long does croup last? Is that cough concerning? How long do I let them be this way before finally going to the doctor?
Tab 3: It’s 60 degrees! Everyone needs new fall and winter clothes! Let me just look online. Wait what time is it now?
Tab 4: Did I remember to print that report Friday before I left for my conferences Monday? No, probably not. Let’s make sure I get to work early to do that Monday.
Tab 5: Wow, there is something written on every date in October that I need to do or my kid is signed up for. Face palm.
Tab 6: We are out of diapers. Oh I need a gift bag for that party. Oh great...we are on the last roll of toilet paper too. I just went to the store Friday.
Tab 6: Christmas is coming. I need to start buying up the 237 gifts we need to get. Oh and December birthdays. Fun times. Back to online shopping.
Tab 7: I love my kids. They are the most precious beings ever placed on this earth - very next thought...Please stop trying to put Cheerios in your nose. I’m going outside for a minute for a breather. Take care of yourselves tiny humans.
Tab 8: Soccer game tonight. Forgot to wash jersey. You’ll stink for a bit.
Tab 9. What’s for supper tonight? What’s for supper rest of week? Cue planning meals and Walmart grocery pick up order. App open - wait what did I need?
Tab 10: Time for bed, I’m exhausted. Why can’t I sleep? What’s that noise? Did I remember to lay out tomorrow’s clothes? How many conferences do I have tomorrow? I forgot to schedule the kids flu shots. What day does Christmas fall on this year? We should totally take the kids to Florida again, I should start looking at booking. Greys Anatomy comes on tomorrow. etc etc
Tab 11 thru 5,883,839 - you get the picture.
No. These are not internet browser tabs. These are tabs currently open in my brain this weekend.
If you have kids, you know the book, If You Give A Mouse a Cookie. It’s a classic. There should be a book for adults titled, If You Give A (insert Mom, Wife, Tescher etc) A Brain….because once that first tab opens, it’s one big cycle of tabs and tabs and tabs. Y’all know what I’m talking about.
There is nothing more refreshing than checking off items from my to do lists (those who work with me know I have extensive ones! Ha!) and closing those internet browsers once you’ve found what you’ve been looking for. So how do we as Mamas and Teachers close those brain tabs? How do we file stuff away to make room for new information? I’m not saying I know how and I’m preaching to myself here but Im trying and here’s what I’ve discovered lately.
#1 You are only as good as your body and mind feels. If you are stressed, tired, sick it WILL affect the rest of your life. Your husband, kids, work, etc. You can’t take care of everyone and everything else when you don’t take care of yourself. I seldom get opportunities for myself but when I do, I take them. Go to the grocery store alone, get your nails done, put work down for the evening, don’t check emails after 7 pm, sleep, ask for a babysitter (or if you struggle with this because you feel like you don’t see your kids as it is and always feel guilty asking, tell your husband you need a date night and ask HIM to get the sitter). Lately, I’ve incorporated exercise for my well being. I don’t have the time or money to hit the gym, so for me it looks like 20 minute workouts in the living room with my two year old trying to mimic the awkward yoga moves I’m doing. Side note: if you are feeling super “extra” try Club Fitz, but do it alone….ain’t no one that will wanna see you trying those moves ( think Beyonce or J-Lo in Hustler here). Get a massage, take some deep breaths, don’t skip those doctor appointments. Keep yourself WELL both mentally and physically. It won’t happen all the time but keep yourself at your best for those who need your best. I read an article yesterday that talked about putting your oxygen mask on first! If you don’t put yours on first, you can’t help others put on their masks. Don’t lose yourself in being a wife, mom, educator, etc. There is still a you inside. Find her and keep her well tuned!
#2 You are NOT the best employee because
- your car is the parking lot the longest
- You volunteer to be on every committee
- You have stacks of papers to grade or work on
- You answer and respond to calls and emails immediately upon receiving them
#3 You are not a bad mother for needing a break. We aren’t talking a ten day excursion to the Virgin Islands. You do so much Mamas! You will be a better, calmer, more efficient multitasker and cuddler when you get a few minutes without the babies. There are other people that love those little ones just as much as you do, and they are willing to help! That break may be a twenty minute ride in your mini van alone playing whatever music you like (Notorious B.I.G. anyone?) It could mean a trip to Walmart alone to get that toilet paper you are out of of. Or it could be a girls night with a best friend or a date night with your husband. Husbands that read this, hear me: Your wife cleans, cooks, chauffeurs, nurses, rocks, and more each and every day. Tell her to be ready by 5, have the babysitter ready, and take her somewhere. We don’t care if it’s McDonald’s (hopefully it won’t be, but seriously, we don’t care) just as long as we aren’t wiping a nose, wiping ketchup off mouths, or eating one handed because a little one wants to sit in our lap while we eat and touch every part of our body repeatedly while saying Mama? Mom? Mommy? Just plan it! She plans everything, down to what shoes they wear with what outfits! Take one for the team Daddy!
#4 Seek out the experts. When I say experts I mean Moms, Nanas, Administrators, Dads, Grandpa’s, Senior Employees, etc. Find those people with genuine life experiences that you can listen to. They have seen life in a different way than you. Most people, you will find, are experts in some avenue of life. Some of the best advice you will ever get are from those you least expect. Listen to people’s experiences, don’t be afraid to ask for help!
#5 Talk about the hard stuff but don’t dwell on it. Those millions of tabs open in your brain need to be filed but before you can file them, talk about them, and then be done. If something is bothering you, say it! Talk to someone about it, find a solution, but then file it. Keeping those tabs open just creates more tabs (remember If You Give A Mouse a Cookie). There are some people who only talk about the hard stuff, and that’s hard to accept sometimes. Bring the positive to that persons hard stuff. Talk about the hard stuff with them but be that expert from #4 and help them see there’s a solution to everything! And above all else, talk about the hard stuff respectfully. There’s a right way and a wrong way, and you lose major street cred being that disrespectful and disgruntled person all the time. We can sort out issues and differences respectfully ALWAYS.
It’s not often I get to write these days, but it’s one of the most therapeutic things I do for myself. Please know when I write I don’t know all the things...Or even a quarter…. just know that I need these reminders just as much as the next person and I hope it helps some of you as well.