Dear Courtney:
I’ve had a lot of time to think this weekend...sick children...not left home….husband working all weekend...it’s been pretty self reflective. I think it’s time to point out some things I’ve noticed about you and I’ll be honest, this letter may be blunt but you need to listen. Listen, heed, react however you need to, but most importantly, take it all to heart. Every word.
For the life of me I can’t understand why you never think you are enough. Have you ever took a step back out of the hamster wheel and noticed what all you do? Girl...you do enough for three people! Always tidying and organizing, cleaning, laundry, cooking, working full time, mommin full time, and being a wife. Let’s not forget about how you volunteer time for PTO at your school, help out with clubs and groups too, are attempting to get your National Boards soon, take your babies to church (when they aren’t sick), take kids here and there for appointments and practices, and hey...you still manage to read that storybook or five each night before bedtimes. Then you start it all again at 5:30 the next morning. I get exhausted just watching you. Have you ever noticed in your “down” time (when any exists) you NEVER relax. You are thinking about the things you need to get done, always making lists, answering emails, tending to little people who constantly need you, or worrying about that one student at school and what you need to do differently to help them, or scrolling social media….which reminds me….
Friend, I see you comparing yourself to that one Pinterest pinning, yoga loving, perfection of a Mama who has her ish together. Honey….you must remember people like to hide behind photos and perfection. There isn’t a Mama I know who has it together all the time...you are just seeing the pretty, rosy colored, moments in their life. I also notice that twinge in your heart when you realize those people you once thought were your greatest friends are only a photo on social media now. Some of them may as well be a wolf in sheep’s clothing from what I can tell...they were never your friend. You were so naive. Even now, those people only reach out when they want something or information or gossip. Don’t buy into it. Delete those people, don’t waste time thinking about it every time you see something they post. Be done with it already….You are not going to be everyone’s favorite person. You aren’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, so quit trying to be! Just be you! There are people that DO love you and love being around you (even in those dark and out of control times like you’ve had lately). Yea, you know the ones I’m talking about. And with all that self doubt, insecurity, and mind games that social media instills, do you even realize what your missing while you look at those people who don’t give a flip about you? This! This is what you miss....Dance parties with those adorable littles you have, more story time, time spent with Jesus, organizing that last square inch of your house you haven’t already organized (okay, so that may be a stretch, I’m sure you’ve got that covered already...get it Marie Kondo!) Look Up! Look around! Stop wishing and thinking and obsessing over all the things and enjoy what you have in front of you. Why pour your energy into thinking about people who don’t think twice about you when you can pour it into those little people who think you are their entire world.
Oh and another thing - why are there no photos of yourself in your house? You know the candid shots with your kids? Or your husband? I’ve watched all the yo yo diets you have struggled through, read about them through your posts, and then watched the transformations only to see that yes you gained it all back. Do you realize that you are pretty? People may tell you but you don’t believe them and you never will. Your self image has been corrupted since way early for some reason unbeknownst to me. Probably because you hung out with all the beautiful skinny people long ago and always compared yourself. The ones that always felt they were better than you and still do. You never did fit in with them. I could never understand why you put yourself through it all those years. What are you teaching your daughter? Teach her she’s beautiful the way she is. Don’t let the world’s standards teach her that she has to be a size 6 and restrict herself from enjoying a piece of cake occasionally. Help her understand the importance of finding friends without vanity. Friends that share her interests, love her for who she is and don’t try to change her. Quit listening to those people that say “you have to make time to exercise, stop the caffeine, blah blah blah”. I’ve never understood people who are so judgemental. Remember that most of those people have nannies or husbands that work normal schedules or have loads of free time because they get babysitters every day for their spin class. I mean when are you supposed to work out? Midnight? Four a.m.? You can’t afford that personal trainer so scratch that and let’s just be real, vegan meals and mineral water that costs more than your mascara isn’t your style. So…. Dress that fat up with clothes you love, put on some lip gloss, and take on the world. When you are ready to make a change you will. Until then just be content in who you are and confident. Confidence has a beauty all in itself.
I saw you watching that documentary about minimalists. This is just my take on it but maybe they are onto something. Money and things do not buy happiness. Lottery winners are some of
the unhappiest of people. Stop filling your home and closet with all the things. You know you hate clutter so hold onto things that are important and purge the rest. I don’t think you are ready for the tiny house movement but I think it could make a difference for you...seriously….just think about it. Less is more.
How did I wait so long to mention this one...quit making jokes about your OCD and anxiety. It’s not funny. It’s real. Share your story to help others, embrace help, and I know people think your fears of head lice, trypophobia (so I looked it up, it is real after all) and clutter put you on the conductor seat of the crazy train but I get it. I see how much you obsess over things. But girl, you need to woosah for a hot minute. Not everything you can control so take a seat and deal with things if and when they come. If brains burned calories yours would be as skinny as that chick with the vegan salad and mineral water. Right now I know your brain is in overdrive over that sweet Nolan. I see all your worries about speech and development and even things that truly aren’t a concern but you are doing all the right things. Quit comparing him to Camdyn...he will never be her. She’s golden in her own ways, the mold was broken when she was created. But Mama...it was with Nolan too. He is golden in his own ways too. I mean have you seen the way he loves people or those super smooth dance moves he’s got (which I will say I don’t think came from you...sorry. #truth).
I know you don’t want to hear anymore realities but really this is it. Last thing, I promise. Soak in the moments Mama! Be the mom that embarrasses her kids by kissing them when they get out of the car, leave that slobbery kiss on your cheek (it could be the last one), quit wiping handprints off all the surfaces (one day you’ll laugh about them and wish they were as permanent as a tattoo), laugh at your husbands jokes even when they aren’t funny, smile as you grab those socks shoved in the couch cushions and put them away, make sure your kids see what’s important to you, read the Bible in front of them and amongst them not just in quiet time, read that last story Cam begs you to read, sit with the tv off and talk to your husband about stupid,quirky, trivial things that don’t require thought or heavy emotion. Turn off the news and watch something hilarious. Make memories. Some memories can just be for you and not the rest of the world, share them with your family and not social media some times. There may be someone comparing themselves to you too and you are painting a picture that isn’t always accurate as well. You know it’s the truth.
Love yourself girl. Love your kids. Love your husband. Love your family. Cherish those friends who are in it for the right reasons. Take the trips, eat the cake, take the walks. You are enough.
I’ve had a lot of time to think this weekend...sick children...not left home….husband working all weekend...it’s been pretty self reflective. I think it’s time to point out some things I’ve noticed about you and I’ll be honest, this letter may be blunt but you need to listen. Listen, heed, react however you need to, but most importantly, take it all to heart. Every word.
For the life of me I can’t understand why you never think you are enough. Have you ever took a step back out of the hamster wheel and noticed what all you do? Girl...you do enough for three people! Always tidying and organizing, cleaning, laundry, cooking, working full time, mommin full time, and being a wife. Let’s not forget about how you volunteer time for PTO at your school, help out with clubs and groups too, are attempting to get your National Boards soon, take your babies to church (when they aren’t sick), take kids here and there for appointments and practices, and hey...you still manage to read that storybook or five each night before bedtimes. Then you start it all again at 5:30 the next morning. I get exhausted just watching you. Have you ever noticed in your “down” time (when any exists) you NEVER relax. You are thinking about the things you need to get done, always making lists, answering emails, tending to little people who constantly need you, or worrying about that one student at school and what you need to do differently to help them, or scrolling social media….which reminds me….
Friend, I see you comparing yourself to that one Pinterest pinning, yoga loving, perfection of a Mama who has her ish together. Honey….you must remember people like to hide behind photos and perfection. There isn’t a Mama I know who has it together all the time...you are just seeing the pretty, rosy colored, moments in their life. I also notice that twinge in your heart when you realize those people you once thought were your greatest friends are only a photo on social media now. Some of them may as well be a wolf in sheep’s clothing from what I can tell...they were never your friend. You were so naive. Even now, those people only reach out when they want something or information or gossip. Don’t buy into it. Delete those people, don’t waste time thinking about it every time you see something they post. Be done with it already….You are not going to be everyone’s favorite person. You aren’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, so quit trying to be! Just be you! There are people that DO love you and love being around you (even in those dark and out of control times like you’ve had lately). Yea, you know the ones I’m talking about. And with all that self doubt, insecurity, and mind games that social media instills, do you even realize what your missing while you look at those people who don’t give a flip about you? This! This is what you miss....Dance parties with those adorable littles you have, more story time, time spent with Jesus, organizing that last square inch of your house you haven’t already organized (okay, so that may be a stretch, I’m sure you’ve got that covered already...get it Marie Kondo!) Look Up! Look around! Stop wishing and thinking and obsessing over all the things and enjoy what you have in front of you. Why pour your energy into thinking about people who don’t think twice about you when you can pour it into those little people who think you are their entire world.
Oh and another thing - why are there no photos of yourself in your house? You know the candid shots with your kids? Or your husband? I’ve watched all the yo yo diets you have struggled through, read about them through your posts, and then watched the transformations only to see that yes you gained it all back. Do you realize that you are pretty? People may tell you but you don’t believe them and you never will. Your self image has been corrupted since way early for some reason unbeknownst to me. Probably because you hung out with all the beautiful skinny people long ago and always compared yourself. The ones that always felt they were better than you and still do. You never did fit in with them. I could never understand why you put yourself through it all those years. What are you teaching your daughter? Teach her she’s beautiful the way she is. Don’t let the world’s standards teach her that she has to be a size 6 and restrict herself from enjoying a piece of cake occasionally. Help her understand the importance of finding friends without vanity. Friends that share her interests, love her for who she is and don’t try to change her. Quit listening to those people that say “you have to make time to exercise, stop the caffeine, blah blah blah”. I’ve never understood people who are so judgemental. Remember that most of those people have nannies or husbands that work normal schedules or have loads of free time because they get babysitters every day for their spin class. I mean when are you supposed to work out? Midnight? Four a.m.? You can’t afford that personal trainer so scratch that and let’s just be real, vegan meals and mineral water that costs more than your mascara isn’t your style. So…. Dress that fat up with clothes you love, put on some lip gloss, and take on the world. When you are ready to make a change you will. Until then just be content in who you are and confident. Confidence has a beauty all in itself.
I saw you watching that documentary about minimalists. This is just my take on it but maybe they are onto something. Money and things do not buy happiness. Lottery winners are some of
the unhappiest of people. Stop filling your home and closet with all the things. You know you hate clutter so hold onto things that are important and purge the rest. I don’t think you are ready for the tiny house movement but I think it could make a difference for you...seriously….just think about it. Less is more.
How did I wait so long to mention this one...quit making jokes about your OCD and anxiety. It’s not funny. It’s real. Share your story to help others, embrace help, and I know people think your fears of head lice, trypophobia (so I looked it up, it is real after all) and clutter put you on the conductor seat of the crazy train but I get it. I see how much you obsess over things. But girl, you need to woosah for a hot minute. Not everything you can control so take a seat and deal with things if and when they come. If brains burned calories yours would be as skinny as that chick with the vegan salad and mineral water. Right now I know your brain is in overdrive over that sweet Nolan. I see all your worries about speech and development and even things that truly aren’t a concern but you are doing all the right things. Quit comparing him to Camdyn...he will never be her. She’s golden in her own ways, the mold was broken when she was created. But Mama...it was with Nolan too. He is golden in his own ways too. I mean have you seen the way he loves people or those super smooth dance moves he’s got (which I will say I don’t think came from you...sorry. #truth).
I know you don’t want to hear anymore realities but really this is it. Last thing, I promise. Soak in the moments Mama! Be the mom that embarrasses her kids by kissing them when they get out of the car, leave that slobbery kiss on your cheek (it could be the last one), quit wiping handprints off all the surfaces (one day you’ll laugh about them and wish they were as permanent as a tattoo), laugh at your husbands jokes even when they aren’t funny, smile as you grab those socks shoved in the couch cushions and put them away, make sure your kids see what’s important to you, read the Bible in front of them and amongst them not just in quiet time, read that last story Cam begs you to read, sit with the tv off and talk to your husband about stupid,quirky, trivial things that don’t require thought or heavy emotion. Turn off the news and watch something hilarious. Make memories. Some memories can just be for you and not the rest of the world, share them with your family and not social media some times. There may be someone comparing themselves to you too and you are painting a picture that isn’t always accurate as well. You know it’s the truth.
Love yourself girl. Love your kids. Love your husband. Love your family. Cherish those friends who are in it for the right reasons. Take the trips, eat the cake, take the walks. You are enough.